NaNoWriMo 2019

So many ideas, none of them a story. A childhood without a muse, without fantasy, stuck in boxes, hidden deep, knowing only what is outside. Years later, learning to be, to dream, to sense, to be truly alive. So much to unlearn. So much seeking. So much change.

And now, embarking on the hidden novel. The novel that will be formed from my thoughts and feelings and sensings and dreamings. From my musings. A novel that will come from within. Not from the recesses of my mind, where forgotten details lie. It will come from within my soul. From the womb where the little girl hid her fantasy doll. From the deeper womb where the little boy hid his entire self. It will be born of magic, magic of the soul, of the universe. It will be born of great things, greater than I can comprehend. Greater than any mere human can comprehend. For we are so limited.

I sit here, not believing I just wrote about greatness. I’m just me, little old me.

But, from Jan’s post:

I claim this!

I have all the power within me. And I intend to do all I can to access that power, to let it be the driving force in this novel. My mind is the supporter. My fingers that type, my eyes that see the words pop onto the screen, my ears that listen to Loreena McKennitt, they serve my Soul.

My Soul. Our Soul. The heartbeat of the universe.

My poem from last November:

Breathe
Deep
Slow
Let your diaphragm move down
To your stomach
Down to your intestines
Stop and listen

Feel the stillness
Of that place
It is the stillness
Of a wise old tree
It is the vastness
Of the universe
It is the limitless space
Of your heart
It is the Soul of you
Inseparable from the Soul
Of all

Breathe
Out
Slowly
Release your breath
As your diaphragm moves up

You cannot keep
All
That vastness
That stillness
The Soul
To yourself

Breathe again
Whatever you take in with your breath
Discomfort
Your pain
Others’ pain
Anxiety
Is being transformed

Breathe deep
Again and again
Into your Soul
Allow yourself to be transformed

Release yourself
From the collective conscious
That puts human intellect
At the centre of everything

There is no centre
There is the heart of the universe
The Soul of all
In which you are
I am


Amen.